Can We Get Better Together--Or Not?

by Zoe Bonselli

When many people first fall in love, they think the glow and the initial passion will last forever. Overtime the newness of the love and desire loses its luster. Some people want to get of the relationship and find someone else.

But is this the right way to go? Especially if there's young children involved saving the relationship is the best solution. Even if you don't have children and still love each other, try to improve the relationship you do have together.

Over the years people mature, get new interests and friends, and may find a communication gap with their partner. The mistake many partners make is not to keep up the dialogue and respect for their partner. Let them know what's going on---don't shut them out of your life.

Think of what first attracted you to your mate. Ask your mate the same thing. Do you both think the relationship is worth saving? If so, then set up some time when you have at least a few minutes alone together to talk.

Start a dialogue together about devising ways to keep the relationship. What are ways to improve a relationship? What's important to the both of you? Is it communication, respect, affection, sex, financial issues?

What does 'improve the relationship' mean to the both of you? What are you both looking for in the relationship?  Do you have any opinions that differ? If so, try to compromise together. It isn't easy, but it is worth it in the long run.

Get all your priorities set together and make goals together. Once you make a list of the priorities, then try to follow through with small steps. It may seem time consuming and boring at first, but remember how much your relationship means to the both of you.

Keep track of them in a notebook---so you and your spouse can notice the progress. Better yet, use a weekly calendar and note the steps you both are taking to create ways to improve the relationship.







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